OK,i need some objective opinions here.Last night a friend of my b/f who i had never met came over to our house while we were gone.Instead of just leaving they waited around and talked to our neighbor who is pretty attractive.When we get home we walk to the door.My b/f does not introduce me nor do his friends bother to say hi,instead they say,"hey dude,do you know the chick next door?" He says no.They say,"well have you SEEN HER!" He says,"well yea." We go in and i walk to towards the back and hear them start talking about how her ass looked when she bent over.My b/f just said right on. Ok so i'm not really upset with my b/f,just thought he shoulda introduced me,but i don't like his dumbass friends.I thought their comments were rude.I mean the 1st time they meet me all they can do is tell my b/f how hot our neighbor is,they didnt even bother to say hello to me,like i wasn't even there.Also i cannot have the house i'm living in be a place were his idiot friends come over at all hours of the night,without calling,to play video games and uh..smoke,,which i HATE to,if i'm going to get my kids back.Ok so tell me your thoughts,,were they rude or not?

What Fucked up Dreams May Come:
I always have crazy ,sometimes prophetic dreams,but when i'm pregnant,jesus,they're really fucked up!Last night I dreamed I was back in the house i grew up in.There was a little boy with black hair and piercing blue eyes,standing in the livingroom,holding a black and white cat.I ask his name and he says,"David" He says he's my brother.A man and woman who were suppose to be our parents come out of the bedroom and say they're leaving.The back door slams shut behind them and the cat screams at the same time.I look over to the boy and cat and see the boy carving the number 11 into the cats side with his pinky nail.I assume the boy is crazy so i take the cat from him and open the door to let it out.I look outside and see the man and woman in their car,dead.Demons were in the car eating thier remians.There were also demons all around the house.At the bottom of the porch steps was a huge roaring lion,it had been frozen.I shut the door and let the cat go,it jumps back in David's arms.I ask him what's going on.He says very calmly and never making eye contact with me,"the 11th hr."I had no idea what that meant so i just start barracading the place.I begin to board up the windows when i see 2 men and a woman walking to the door.Both the men look the same,suit and tie ,dark rimmed glasses and hats,the woman is beautiful,long black hair,violet eyes and she's wearing a long flowing ice blue dress.She also seems to be gliding instead of walking.I go to open the door thinking they have come to help us when David grabs my arm and says,"Do not be fooled,they are not in God's image." Suddenly the cat turns into a sword.He gives it to me and I break through the window with it ,the woman glides back and watches as i try to fight the 2 men.No matter what i do they keep coming back to life.I look back at the woman who is looking right at me and i hear her voice in my head speaking in a weird language.I get really scared even though i dont know what she's saying so i start crying and saying please let me wake up.I wake up...Does anyone know what the fuck the 11th hr is? Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.

Last night around 12:30 am i felt my baby move for the 1st time!I was lying on my bed watching tv when i felt the little flutter.i screamed for my b/f who was in the livingroom.He came running in and with a huge grin on my face i told him i had felt the baby.He said really?! He laid his head on my belly and just smiled.At 1st he wasn't too excited about it all,he was to scared i think,but now he's really getting into it.I'm starting to get this crazy idea that after a psycho husband an abusive ex,and matt dieing ,that things might actually work out for me :)

Well i have a sweet little story to share with everyone.Two days ago Matt's mom,her son Adam,my b/f,and i went to kentucky to visit some of their family.We were gonna make a little road trip out of it,go out to eat,shop around and all that so Matt's mom brought all her money(she had just got her monthly check)We go to her cousins house and while we're there some "friends" come by.There was a house full of people and alot of noise and in all the chaos,someone stole ALL of her money.This included bill money,money for thanksgiving turkey,and money for her mother's breathing machine which she was to pick up the next day.We didn't notice the missing money until we were a few miles down the road.Matts mom just started crying.This woman helps everyone.She's the kind of woman you can go to and she'll feed you,give you a place to sleep and barely even know you.She says how can she turn away someone hungry when god has blessed her with food.So just the thought that someone stole from her upset me.Now this is how big a heart this woman truly has,instead of going back and freaking out on everyone there,like the rest of us wanted to do,she just said,"no,they will get what they deserve in time,maybe they needed it more,god will help me." The next day she called about her mother's breathing machine,they let her have it for free,said they can give away a certain amount each year.Most of her bills are covered also because that same day a woman who had owed her some money for a car finally paid,after 6 mths!And today my b/f,and i went to the grocery store and they were giving away free turkey's with any $50 purchase which is exactly how much we had for food.I called her and told her that i had gotten us all a turkey.Matts mom,along with this experience has shown me that having a little faith can make a difference.Not necessarily faith in god,just faith in that good things do happen to good people.I think it was her not letting the evil actions of someone else break her faith.She believed she would be alright and she is.And i'm a little better for it to :)

My sister is a heartless bitch!Unfortunatly she has my kids now and so far she has not let me see them at all! She told me i could take them trick or treating halloween since that has always been a big deal for us.I'm not one of those moms that just takes them to a store or 2,like my sis,i always make sure they have alot of fun.Find somewhere that's having games and go to every house we can find,which for me is exhausting but a blast for them!So we agree to meet at 6:30.I get there at 6:25 cause i was so excited,i hadn't seen my kids in over a month!Well she wasn't there when i got there so i call to see how far away she was.That bitch says"oh we came early,around 5,i tried to call you(she did not!)we're in jasper now...sorry." Everything inside me wanted to scream and call her every ungodly name i could think of but i didnt,i just said,so i can't see them tonight? She said no,sorry.and hung up.I cried all night.I've never missed trick or treating with my boys.This whole thing isn't right.I did nothing wrong to have my babies taken from me except be sick.So because i have fucking lupus and sometimes feel to sick and tired to fold the clothes i should have my kids taken?? Thats all it was,dfacs was called by my ex's mother(the one who beat me!)because i wouldnt let her take my son to see his dad in jail.So dfacs started making their weekly visits.I mustve got a neat freak for a case worker cause he came out and all the dishes were done,trash taken out,all that needed to be done was the clean clothes in the basket hadnt been put up yet and daniel had toys and cracker crumbs around him on the floor.This man tells me that my house is intolerable!Idon't know anyone with 2 kids who has a spotless house!So he puts in his little file that my house was messy and then last may i let my 6 yr old go visit my mom in fla,like he does every yr!The day after he left my case worker comes by and i tell him where jeremiah was.He says oh sounds like fun!Two days later he comes by with a court order to take him from me cause i didnt ask permission from him before i let him go!The system is completely fucked!I know a bitch that has 3 kids and got arrested for meth and weed,you know where her kids are? With her!So the morel of this story is dfacs doesnt care if you do drugs,as long as you keep a clean house(who wouldnt on speed!)Appearances are everything.

I saw the specialist yesterday and had an ultrasound.I heard the hearbeat which was very strong and very fast(that usually means girl!)and saw my baby for the 1st time.The dr said so far everything with the baby looks perfect.The only big concern is my blood pressure is kinda high and will only get higher the further along i am.Pregnant women with high b.p. tend to have smaller babies cause the blood flow to the baby is slower.It also puts me at risk for seizures and abrubtion of the placenta ,which is when the placenta becomes detached from the uterus.They're going to monitor the baby and me very closely .I'll be seeing my regular dr and them every month .So now along with meds i need to stop eating all salt and no caffiene.The caffiene i can handle,the salt..well that's pretty much all i crave now so that will be a challenge but if i can quit smoking for my baby i can defiinitly quit salt!