I watched Matt's funeral tape last night for the first time since the day of the funeral so I decided to write about it.I realize I write about Matt alot but he was such an amazing person that i just want to tell everyone about him.Also i feel like writing about him keeps his memory alive.I feel blessed for knowing him and special that i was the best friend of an angel.I say angel because in a sense that's what he was.That's why he had to die so soon, only the good die young cause they're too precious for this world.They are sent here just long enough to make an impact and then they have to go back where they truly belong before this place ruins them.Destroys that spark in them that makes them so special and matt's spark was starting to dim.I almost feel sorry for those who never got to meet him so i feel by writing about him that whoever reads my blog might get a sense of how wonderful he was.I also keep posting about him cause i never feel like i've told the whole story.There was so many different sides to matt.He was the kinda guy who would sit and have deep intellectual conversations but he was also the kinda guy that would moon you for no reason other then he thought the look on your face was funny,lol.Matt,he was a character.I'm sure everyone has their "matt" atleast i hope so.So ok back to the funeral. I've been to some funerals that seemed to be more about the family then the actual deceased.Some people might not play certain music,say certain things when giving a speech about their loved one,or make it "christian themed", even if they weren't christians, because it might offend someone in the family.Well this was not the case with Matt's funeral.Deborah(matts mom) made sure that every detail was about him.She knew that Matt was not the type to censor anything just cause it might offend someone,and also that anyone who truly knew Matt wouldn't be offended anyway.Ok so I'll start from the beginning.We get there and everyone goes to the lobby to watch a video about matt.It showed pics of him from a baby to a pic taken hours before he died.While the pics are being shown the song simple man by lynrd skynrd is playing.It was very touching.That was one of his favorite songs and it described him well.Even though he was a genius he was very simple.Cared nothing for clothes or appearances,material objects meant little to matt.He said all his life all he ever hoped for was a roof over his head,food in his belly and the people he loved to always be near.Matt was born june 25 1976 so he was a cancer.Cancer's are very sensative but not wimpy,they're also homebodies,which Matt definitly was so deborah had him cremated so she could bring him home where he was always happiest.So after the video we all go into the other room .I go and sit behind the podium because i was going to sing later.Everyone gets seated and amazing grace played on the bagpipes begins to play as kaleb walks up the aisle carrying matt's ashes which where put in a beautiful wooden box with a carving of a path in the middle of a forrest with mountains in the distance.Kaleb puts the box on the podium and when the music stops,begins his speech.Before the service kaleb came to me and was very nervous about what to say so i help him write his speech.Now let me just say that matt was a potsmoker.One of his favorite things to do was sit on his front porch,smoke a joint and talk with his friends,sometimes til early in the morning.That was matt,he wasn't ashamed to say he loved weed,there's nothing wrong with it and it angered him to no end that someone could drink a beer, bullshit with their friends and usually be obnoxious and no one sees anything wrong with that,but tell someone you smoke weed and you're looked down upon.So anyway,Kaleb decided to mention pot in his speech cause anyone who knew matt would know he'd get a kick out of it.He did it in a very tasteful way though,he said,"matt was someone you could talk with,laugh with and yes even smoke a joint with.but matt wasn't just someone to get high with,he was my best friend,and to me,that was more then enough."He said that last part because some of matt's family members that didn't really know him just saw him as a pothead.So Kaleb finishes his speech and comes sit next to me.Then it was my turn to sing.I sang in the arms of the angels by sarah mclaghlan.I had never sang in public before and i was extremely nervous but i had to do it for matt.He loved my voice.He used to ask me to sing him to sleep when he was having trouble sleeping,which was quite often.The music starts and my throat tightens as i begin to cry.I close my eyes and as i open my mouth to sing,thinking there was no way i was gonna get through the song,i feel hands squeezing my shoulders.I relax and sing the whole song without crying once.As soon as it was over i open my eyes and see kaleb,who i thought had put his hands on my shoulders,holding my hand.So i think if it wasn't kaleb then who was it?Later we watched the video of the funeral and when Kaleb begins his speech you could clearly see a shadow of a large person behind him.Then when i start to sing the shadow moves behind me,as soon as i finish,the shadow disappears.We all got chills watching that .After my song they played kid rock's only god knows why-matts all time fav.then hoobastank's the reason.The pastor,who was matt's neighbor growing up,says his serman.He doesn't go on and on about how matt was this big christian like most pastors do at funerals wether the person was or not,he just talked about him cause he knew him.That's another thing that made it special,even the pastor was close to matt.Don't get me wrong,Matt wasn't some godless sinner,he was very spiritual.He just didn't want to close his mind to other possibilities.He was interested in all religions.He did believe in god.The pastor finishes and a couple more people get up and talk about matt.After the service everyone gathers around the podium and talks for a bit.Slowly people start to leave and soon the only ones left were kaleb and I.We just stood there,staring at matt's pic,holding hands and crying.We didn't want to leave cause we knew as soon as we walked out that door that life without matt had truly begun.We stayed there until Matt's mom deborah came and told us it was time to go.We walk out to the parking lot to deborah's car to hug her and say we'd be at her house soon.She starts to put matt's ashes in her car and stops,turns back to me and says,"ya know,Matt always liked riding with you guys best." She handed me the box and I took it back to the car.Kaleb held the box in his lap with one hand and held my hand with the other .The whole way to matt's house we didn't cry,we talked about good times we had with matt,and laughed,just like the three of us always did riding in the car.I'll never forget that moment and how honored I felt to give my best friend his last ride home.