this has been a rough month.the 27th will be a yr since my best friend died.he was more than my best friend.this man was my soulmate for lack of a better term.he was my closest friend for 8 yrs.he made me who i am.taught me so much.he was the smartest,funniest,most loving person i've ever known.when i met him i finally knew what all those cheesy terms meant..soulmate,my other half,he completes me.i always thought those were just things that people said.but it's real.i found that with him.and now thats he gone i feel like half my soul died to.i'm paralyzed without him.my heart froze the moment his mom came to my front door and said,"amber,you need to sit down,"..i said,,"why,whats going on?" she said,"honey,matthew died yesterday."..i dont remember what i said but i'm told i almost dropped my youngest child and screamed no god!all i remember was walking all over my hiouse,shaking,and throwing things around like i was looking for something,,and crying,alot..just like i am now.i feel so lost and alone without my matt.we were never more then just the best of friends though he wanted more.he was truly in love with me.the purest love i've ever recieved.he never raised his voice to me,never disrespected me,he wouldve died for me in a min.theres not enough words to describe how wonderful he was and how special he made me feel.no one has ever cared to much for me.but he made me feel like the most beautiful,smartest,coolest chick ever.i hadnt seen him in about 6mths when he died.i was with my asshole ex at the time and he woulnt let me see my friends.dont worry,,he's long gone and i'll never be controlled like that again! that woke me up.i wasted precious time with my ex that shouldve been spent with the man that really loved me..instead he died thinking i didnt care.and i did,,more then anyone will ever know.we were together almost everyday for 8 yrs,then the last 6 mths when i'm not around..he dies..its not fair! i had just kicked my ex out the day before i heard he was dead.i was getting ready to come to his house when his mom told me the news,,i remember getting in the shower,so excited cause i was gonna see matt again soon.but i never got to see him.and it hurts knowing that i'll got through the rest of my life now without him.one thing i've learned from all this is not to ever take anyone for granted.soak up everyone around you..because no one is promised tomorrow...